The Breakdown
We need to talk about this guys! I know first hand how hard it is
The pressure was building, file after file. I was already pushing myself to meet the KPI deadline, chasing perfection because my brain hates the idea of mistakes. And then—bam—two files came back as non-compliant.
The thing is, the files were 95% fine. One small action flagged them, and suddenly the whole thing was marked as not passed. It felt like my hard work collapsed in front of me. My chest tightened, my stomach burned, and I froze. My brain screamed: “I failed. I’ll never get this right. I’m not good enough.”
I broke down. Tears, stress, and that voice inside saying: “See? You’re not capable.
Once the breakdown hit, I didn’t just feel stressed—I lost confidence. Suddenly, every file felt like walking on eggshells. Instead of slowing down, I started rushing, desperate to prove I could do it right. But that rush only made me slip up more. Tiny mistakes. Silly errors. Things I would normally catch.
It felt like quicksand: the more I tried to fight my way out, the deeper I sank.”
But this doesn’t feel right. How can we stay self-aware when everything breaks down? I know the feeling—we just want to let it all out and collapse. But what if… instead of releasing it outward, we choose to let it go?
💥 The Moment It Hits
🌀 The Cycle
🛠️ What To Do During a Breakdown
💡 How To Prevent the Spiral Next Time
💥 The Moment It Hits
Whether it’s ADHD, anxiety, depression, or just being human — breakdowns happen. Sometimes it’s a work mistake, a missed deadline, or feedback that feels too heavy. Your chest tightens, your thoughts spiral, and suddenly it feels impossible to breathe or think straight.
🌀 The Cycle (How it Feels for Many of Us)
This isn’t “just ADHD.” Everyone can fall into this spiral — but ADHD brains, plus rejection sensitivity (RSD), often feel it more intensely.
- Trigger → mistake, rejection, pressure.
- Emotional flood → shame, frustration, “I’m not good enough.”
- Overthinking & rushing → trying to “fix” things fast.
- Silly mistakes creep in → proof that “I can’t do this.”
- Confidence crash → the loop continues
If you’ve ever felt like one tiny mistake proves you’re not good enough… if you’ve spiraled from pressure into panic, rushing only to make more mistakes, and then watched your confidence crumble — I want you to know, I’ve been there too. You’re not alone in this cycle.
🛠️ What To Do During a Breakdown
- Pause your body: unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, breathe out slowly.
- Ground yourself: name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear, 3 things you feel physically.
- Permission to feel: remind yourself, “It’s okay to feel this. It will pass.”
Ask one small question: “What’s the tiniest step I can take right now?”
You’ve already taken the bravest step by noticing what’s happening and choosing to pause. Every breath you take, every small step you find — that’s proof you’re stronger than the spiral. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be gentle. You’re learning to care for yourself in the moments that matter most.”
🔎 Questions to Ask Yourself in the Moment
- Is this mistake the end of my job/life—or just one learning step?
- Am I treating this like the file/situation failed me or I failed completely?
- What would I say to a colleague/friend who made the same mistake?
- In one week, will this moment matter as much as it feels right now?
💡 How To Prevent the Spiral Next Time
- Slow Down to Speed Up → take 5 extra minutes to reduce mistakes.
- Reset Ritual → before each new task, breathe and say: “This is a fresh start.”
- One-Check Rule → review once carefully instead of rushing through many times.
- Tiny Wins List → write down small successes daily. Confidence grows through evidence.
✨ If you’d like to explore these challenges in more detail, click the buttons below — each one opens a new way to understand yourself better. And while these are framed around ADHD, the insights and tools can support anyone facing similar challenges.
The below will open in a new window when clicked
🔗 → When your mood relies on someone else’s response.
😰 → When pressure spirals into panic.
🌑 → When energy and hope run low.
🔄 → When your brain won’t stop replaying everything.
🌪️ → When everything hits at once.
💔 → When mistakes feel like rejection.
Hey there, welcome back
Find your log, take a deep breath…
Because tonight, we’re talking about breakdowns and frustration.
Yes — those lovely little emotional earthquakes that remind us we’re definitely still human.
You know, the moments where you drop your coffee, your Wi-Fi dies, and your brain goes,
“That’s it. I’m done. I live here now — on the floor.”
We’ve all been there.
Why Breakdowns Happen
Here’s the truth: frustration isn’t bad — it’s your brain’s way of saying,
“I’m overloaded. I need a system reboot.”
We live in a world that celebrates “keep pushing,” but nobody gives you a trophy for saying,
“Actually, I need a nap and a snack first.”
But you know what? That’s real strength — noticing when you’re at capacity before your mind throws a full system error.
So, the question isn’t “How do I avoid breakdowns forever?”
It’s “How do I recognize the early signs — and respond with kindness instead of chaos?”
How to Spot the Boil-Over Point
Frustration usually gives little warnings first —
- You start sighing more than breathing.
- You forget simple things, like where your phone is (and yes, it’s in your hand).
- You start mentally narrating everything that’s wrong with the world.
That’s your cue.
That’s your moment to say,
“Okay, pause. My brain’s waving a little red flag.”
The Calm-Down Technique (Guided Breathing)
This technique helps you calm down – breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds…
Hold for 4 seconds …And breath out for 4 seconds through your mouth
That simple rhythm actually calms your nervous system.
It’s like pressing the “reset” button on your stress levels.
And bonus: it’s free, legal, and no side effects.
What happens when Someone Else is Having a Breakdown
Now, what if you’re calm, but someone else isn’t?
First, don’t try to fix them.
You can’t logic a person out of a meltdown — trust me, I’ve tried.
Instead, be the calm in their storm.
Lower your voice, slow your breathing — they will subconsciously start to mirror you.
You’re showing their nervous system what safety looks like.
It’s not about giving them the perfect advice.
It’s about helping them feel like they’re not alone in the chaos.
Let’s have a The Reflection Moment
Here’s where we turn the mirror back to ourselves.
When you think about your last meltdown, ask yourself:
“Was I angry at the situation — or at the version of myself that felt powerless?”
Most of the time, frustration is less about the thing and more about the feeling of not being in control. So, what if the change isn’t in how life treats us —
but in how we treat ourselves when life gets messy?
Mini Reflection Quiz
Let’s end with five short reflections — answer them silently or jot them down.
What are your early warning signs that stress is building up?
When you’re frustrated, do you allow yourself to pause — or do you push harder?
What’s one small thing that usually helps you calm down?
When someone else is having a breakdown, how do you usually react?
What would “being kinder to yourself” look like on a bad day?
Notice your answers. They’re clues, not judgments.
Breakdowns aren’t failures. They’re your body’s way of saying, “Hey… I’ve been carrying too much.”
So next time it happens, instead of blaming yourself, try thanking yourself —
for finally letting something out that needed to come up. We don’t grow by avoiding frustration — we grow by learning to meet it gently.
Thanks for sitting with me by the fire tonight.
And remember: the goal isn’t to never break down — it’s to know how to build yourself back up with love, not pressure. See you next time